I’d
have titled this entry, “The Happiest Baby on the Block,” but that’s probably a
registered trademark, as it’s a DVD of tips and tricks to calm a fussy baby. I
gave birth to my daughter, Persephone Anne, on August 11th—about a
month ago, now—and from the very start she has been an absolutely wonderful
baby. She doesn’t fuss much, and when she does, she’s very easy to soothe. This
entry is the story of having the baby and how I’m doing a month later with her.
I was
worried from the moment I found out I was pregnant and it was too late to
terminate that I would end up with postpartum depression after birth. Deep down
inside, I knew with a morbid certainty that the mental illness would rear its
ugly, tar-black face and there would be no avoiding it. What I didn’t know was
how soon it would show up. After all, baby blues are normal and postpartum
depression usually kicks in a little later, right? That’s what I’d heard and
gathered from all the research I’d done prior to having my baby.
The
afternoon I broke my ankle, I went to the hospital and was in the ER for many
hours before moving up to the Labor & Delivery Triage to be monitored.
Ultimately, the hospital staff decided to induce my labor and it was decided
that I would have my baby. I mentioned this in my last entry, which detailed
how I broke my ankle. I was given an epidural and labor didn’t last too long,
really. I’d say it didn’t last more than twelve hours, but I don’t think that’s
quite accurate, so I’ll say it didn’t last longer than six hours after the
nurse broke my water. I didn’t feel it until the baby started moving out—and then
she was pressing hard against my
right hip and it felt like the hip would split open!
It was a smooth delivery. My
baby was, and still is, completely beautiful and I received a few stitches to
aid recovery from a small tear the baby caused. We were later moved, a few
hours later, to a different room, where we were to stay for about 48 hours
while they monitored the baby and me. Everything was going well…until maybe 24
hours later.
From
the moment I started actively pushing the baby out of my body (a little before
that, actually), up to the next night, I got no sleep at all. I might have
napped a couple of hours, but it was certainly nothing significant. On top of
that, I was beginning to have difficulties breastfeeding. Persephone, my new
daughter, wouldn’t take enough of my nipple into her mouth for a proper latch,
which left both of my nipples blistered and feeling pinched. Come Tuesday
night, I couldn’t latch her on for the pain and I couldn’t manage to make the
nipple guard stay on a nipple for her to eat that way.
With my
broken and sprained ankles inhibiting my movement, the pain from childbirth,
and the pain in my nipples all piled on top of a baby screaming from hunger, I
couldn’t handle it anymore and I was sobbing along with my newborn. Words came
out of my mouth and I don’t remember all of them, but among them were things
like, “I’m sorry, but you’re hurting me!” and “Why are you crying?!” Looking
back, the second quote looks completely wrong; I knew exactly why she was
crying and I was feeling completely inadequate and useless with the pain in my
nipples rendering feeding her impossible.
Multiple
nurses came in during this episode and tried talking to me. Randy took the baby
to another room and a nurse tried talking to me—continuously saying my name
wrong, pronouncing it like uh-leash-uh
instead of the correct uh-leash-ee-uh.
I couldn’t handle it the third time she said it and I yelled at her, “It’s Aleashia!” She promptly got up and
walked out of the room. I was later given a breast pump to express enough milk
for Randy to feed the baby while I got some sleep; then, I was provided some
Benadryl to assist with the actual sleeping.
When I
woke up, I didn’t feel much better, but I’d gotten a few hours of sleep. I
immediately wondered where my baby was and pressed the nurse call button to
ask. A few minutes later, Randy came in with her and said that all was well. I
was still relatively miserable, but it was good to know the baby was doing well.
It wasn’t
long after that—the next day, maybe—that I was getting everything situated to
feed Persephone. I moved to get my blanket out of the way so that I could
position her properly to feed when all of a sudden she flipped over and off the
bed—landing on the floor. It was so sudden, I immediately had Randy call the
nurses in. The baby hadn’t landed on her head; she’d landed on her side, maybe
her shoulder, but I was worried that she might have hit her head.
The next
thing I knew, we were still in the hospital long after we should have gone home
and when we asked what was going on, we found out that the pediatrician had
called Child Protective Services.
Ultimately—long
story short—CPS closed our case the day we went in to talk to them. The baby is
safe.
Now,
for the best part of this entry: The fact that I have the happiest baby I’ve
ever known. Persephone isn’t particularly fussy, but when she fusses, it’s
usually really easy to find the problem and fix it. Most of the time, she wants
my nipple; popping one in her mouth will calm her down immediately. Every
parent knows the checklist: Is the baby hungry? Does the baby need a diaper
change? Is the baby hot or cold? Is the baby bored? Does the baby just need to
cry for a while? Does the baby need to burp? There’s more to it, though. If you
go through the entire checklist and the baby is neither hot nor cold, nor
bored, nor hungry, nor dirty, nor gassy, and the baby continues to cry, there
are ways to easily calm the baby.
In the
film, The Happiest Baby on the Block,
the man I will call the Baby Whisperer has what he calls the five S’s: Swaddle,
Side/Stomach, Swing, Shushing, and Sucking. When Persephone continues crying
for no reason, I swaddle her. It almost never works by itself, so I put her on
her side and begin swinging her. Usually, this is enough to calm her down;
other times, I have to shush her on top of it. Other times, I have to pop a
pacifier in her mouth on top of it all and simply work with her for a few
minutes, but ultimately, the five S’s work wonders.
I have an extremely happy baby, ultimately, even though these past couple of
days have been a bit more difficult than usual.
I love my daughter so much more
than I thought possible.
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