My First 12-Hour Shift

I survived my first ever 12-hour shift, today. It started at 17:00 Sunday evening and ended at 05:00 Monday morning; this will be my permanent shift, regardless of which nights I work.

            Having never worked a 12-hour shift before, I could not have known how difficult the first 6 hours could or would be. I couldn’t have known that, until 23:00, I would be desperately fighting sleep and popping NoDoz—given quite generously to me by my field training officer—like they’re going out of style. NoDoz, by the way, does not increase one’s feeling of wakefulness, but instead keeps one from actually dozing off. It’s quite effective and, when coupled with an energy drink, can cause difficulty breathing, as I discovered by sipping some Nos energy drink (also provided to me by my field training officer) after having taken four NoDoz pills.

            Something about watching the day end is exhausting. Even walking around on a patrol of the parking garage seemed tedious and tiresome, as if I could somehow fall asleep while walking. Prior to 23:00, the halfway point of my shift, I felt worries pop into my head and create little nests in my brain.

            What if I can’t stay awake and I’m caught sleeping on the job and I get fired? This was my principal worry. My response was to tell myself that I would work my way through training and see how I felt about the job; if I felt that staying awake would be a very serious problem, I would work my way up whatever chain of command I have and communicate my difficulties so as to avoid being fired and, in the worst case scenario, resign. This was, of course, a premature thought process, though not irrational or unreasonable, as I have had difficulty staying awake before and even have dozed off during class.

            What if I can’t do walking patrols for 10 of the 12 hours I’m on shift and I get in trouble for sitting down too much? It occurred to me while in the first half of my shift that plantar fasciitis is on my VA disability claim and constant patrolling could cause back and foot pain for me. I worried about what I would do if it became a serious problem and the solution was simpler than my mind wanted me to believe. Simply put, there are two ways I could approach my possible physical limitations: I could simply explain my position and provide my disability compensation letter if required; or, I could communicate up my chain of command and, in the worst case scenario, either transfer to another account within my company or resign due to inability to properly perform my job duties.

            Indeed, I worried quite a bit in those first 6 hours over whether or not I would need to resign from my job, though I’ve so recently acquired it and am still only in training. It doesn’t help that I only have two nights in my two weeks of field training; the rest are day shifts, though my permanent schedule will be nights after I’ve finished.

            I wondered, too, what I could or would do for work if I were to resign from my current position as a security officer. Chief among my options was to speak to Victor at WorkSource again and go from there to find a better fit for my skills. Other options were to simply quit trying to have a regular job and get really into painting and drawing, or attempt to resume my tattoo apprenticeship (internship) with Lu.

            After 23:00, it began to dawn on me that I could make it through 12 hours of work without as much trouble as I worried about in the first half. I felt more alert and capable of the work I was doing. It occurred to me that the trick is to get through the first half; the second half might as well take care of itself.

            By 23:00, I had taken my first 15-minute break and was on my way to my first 30-minute “lunch” break. Randy had packed me homemade pizza and tacos for my two lunch breaks and while I ate the pizza prior to my first lunch break, the tacos were waiting to be devoured during that first 30 minutes of “lunch” time.

            Time goes by much more easily for me when I don’t feel like I’m fighting sleep. The transit center was lit well enough that I could read my book without turning on the office lights; the CCTV cameras provided minor entertainment; patrolling the parking garage proved to be a perfectly useful activity for staying awake and also for getting more oxygen.

            There were times when I felt that I had trouble breathing, but I realized that this trouble came from the high amount of caffeine I’d ingested, more than a respiratory issue within my body. What I learned from this revelation was that it is perfectly acceptable to take four NoDoz pills to maintain alertness while on shift, as well as perfectly acceptable to drink energy drinks in order to feel more awake; what was not acceptable was mixing the two as I had done. That was a mistake and unless I wanted to risk giving myself a heart attack, I would be better off choosing one or the other, rather than both, in the future.

            Now that my shift is over and I’m home, relaxing and winding down to go to bed, I realize that this is something I can do. I am capable of making it through 12 hours of work without falling asleep. I am capable of patrolling as necessary and if I have trouble as I start out, I can communicate my difficulty clearly and with evidence to support me.

            There are things I enjoy about my job and it is important for me to remember them. I enjoy wearing a uniform. It relieves me of the responsibility of choosing what to wear to work. I enjoy doing a job that requires vigilance; it is a test of my skills and abilities and this night, I proved that I am capable of maintaining it as needed. I imagine that I can only improve from this point on, as I am able to recognize my potential weaknesses and act accordingly.

            12 hours is a long time no matter how you look at it, but it’s only the first 6 hours that are truly challenging to me. As long as I can continue to power through them as I managed to do this night, I will be fine. It may be difficult, especially when I no longer have a second person to keep me company and converse, but it will not be impossible. There are plenty of things to do, including patrolling.

            I am a strong, powerful woman and I am capable of performing the duties of this job.

Plans and Momentum

My third week of training and final week of classroom instruction ended, today, and I received my schedule for on-the-job training. With the luck I had in being assigned to the King zone (the zone closest to where I live, conveniently enough), I also have the fortune of only having 2 weeks of on-the-job training! It’s great for me because my second week consists entirely of day shifts; my only night shifts are Sunday and Monday nights, this coming week, and then I have to be back in Bellevue on Tuesday morning—right after my shift—for a right-of-way class.

            I’m not entirely sure what the right-of-way class entails, but I do know that it’s mandatory and if I miss it for any reason, I won’t be able to work until June because that’s when the next one is scheduled. My plan for the class is to have my supervisor take me, but if that fails for any reason, I’ll already be at a bus station, so I can take public transport. With working in my home town and the two bigger cities that border it, I don’t intend to drive unless it’s absolutely necessary—or until I get my own car.

            Speaking of plans for my money as I begin receiving checks from my company, I’ve realized that while I could afford to enroll Persephone back into KinderCare with the money I’ll be making, it will be expensive and I might look into enrolling her only part-time, or simply finding a less expensive daycare to take her to. One thought I have for that is a daycare my dad took me to when I was little; I believe it’s in Auburn, which is one of the cities I’ll be working in (the three being Federal Way, where I live; Kent; and Auburn).

            My goal is still to purchase a house in August. I am moving in the right direction and at the right speed to make that goal a reality and I have no intention of letting anything get in my way. In August, our lease for our current apartment will end and we will need to find new living arrangements because I don’t want us staying in the apartment that has been falling apart since day one.

            Since we moved into our current unit, we’ve had our half-bathroom toilet fixed twice. The first time, the guy replaced the wax seal but forgot to bolt the toilet back down to the floor, so it leaked when we flushed it, still. We had to have maintenance come out a second time to bolt the toilet properly and end the problem. Then, water began leaking from the ceiling, so we had to have maintenance come out and fix that; it took them at least 4 days to complete the job and it left a massive mess in our kitchen. On top of those things, the windows don’t seal properly, so we have black mold trying to grow on our window sills. Luckily, Persephone doesn’t get to the window sills where the black mold starts, but it’s still a health hazard and I am not happy about it.

            August is a mere four months away. With the pace at which I’m moving within my company, I’ll begin making “the good money,” as I put it, after May 13^th, which is actually sooner than I’d anticipated. With my first paycheck, I can visit a lender here in Federal Way and, if all goes well, get pre-approved for a home loan through the VA with a 0% down payment on whatever home we choose based on our pre-approval rating.

            In addition to all of this that I’m doing for myself and my family, Randy has an interview coming up soon for a job with CeX, a gaming store similar to GameStop that purchases used games and consoles and sells them. I don’t know about GameStop’s policies, but I think CeX may just be better. I do know that Randy prefers CeX. If he gets the job, whether it’s part time or full time, it will be beneficial but it will also put a rush on finding childcare for Persephone and it may just make KinderCare the most logical option, since he would be working at the Commons at Federal Way. It just wouldn’t be prudent to drive over to Auburn just to drop our daughter off at daycare, only to come back for work. It would be unnecessary driving.

            All in all, plans are in the works and I actually feel good about moving forward. Today is definitely a green day and I look forward to more like it.

Happy News

My mother gained custody of me when I was 7 years old, going on 8. I spent two years with her and moved back in with my grandparents; this is no secret. I lived with my grandparents from 4^th grade all the way through high school graduation, until I left for the military. I even lived with them again after separating from the Air Force and while my little family was homeless after our first apartment as civilians.

            Living with my mother was difficult for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons was my lack of friends. At any given time, I had one good friend, maybe a second not-so-good friend. This carried over to 4^th grade, after I’d moved back in with my grandparents; I had two friends at Roy Elementary and one of them was a bitch. Their names were Rose and Kaydee, in order of importance.

            Rose was a phenomenal friend; I loved everything about her. She was kind, thoughtful, and friendly; we played with our Barbies together and talked about school and our bullies and crushes. My memory isn’t the best for specifics, but it’s as they say: People will forget what you said to them, but will never forget how you made them feel. Rose made me feel included. I will never in all my life forget that.

            After 6^th grade, Rose moved to Illinois. For a while, we wrote each other, back and forth. Then, one day, my letter came back with a “Return to Sender” stamp on it. I tried again and again, each time in vain, to get the letter to the address I had for her. Every time, it came back, until I finally gave up and assumed defeat. That is, until I made a Facebook account.

            It occurred to me that social media could be used to find Rose. I remembered that she’d liked being on the computer as much as I’d liked it, when we were kids. Neither of us were able to spend as much time as we wanted to on our respective household computers. I thought, If I have a Facebook account, maybe Rose does, too! And so, I searched for her.

            Nothing came up. I searched again. Still nothing.

            Over the years, I searched for her less often, but none of my search results resembled the friend I’d had.

            Until today.

            Today, I typed her full name into the search bar during my lunch break. I was on my phone and I don’t know why, but I suddenly figured, “I’m gonna look for Rose, again. See what happens.” And there she was! The first result in my search was her!

            It has been a long time since I’ve felt such elation. Immediately, I sent her a friend request and a message—a rather enthusiastic message—and told two of my friends what had just happened, since I was in conversation with them at the time. I sent another message shortly thereafter, upon realizing that perhaps the first one might have come across a little creepily.

            At this time, I await a response. I don’t know if or when she will get back to me, but at least now I know I can hope. Now I know that my friend is out there, still in Illinois, possibly working in a library, and I have done my part in finding her. My hopes are that we can reconnect; she was my best friend and we’d both agreed that our only other friend, whom we shared, wasn’t much of a friend at all.

            Now I can rest more easily and perhaps with a smile in my heart, knowing that she grew up and is still out there. If we reconnect and our friendship is still strong, I sincerely hope to visit her, perhaps in June when we go to Indiana.

            For this reason, as well as the fact that I received my paycheck and learned that I will be posted as close to home as is possible within my client’s properties, today was green! I haven’t had such a green day in so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to feel so good. First, I found Rose. Then, I learned that I’ll be posted close to home. Then, I received my paycheck. Then, I received a Labyrinth T-shirt and Horcrux socks from Loot Crate!

            I live in Federal Way, Washington. Nearby cities include Kent and Auburn, both of which have stations attached to the client to which I’m assigned through my employer. The area is called “King,” while the area the rest of my class is going to is called “Paul” and includes Seattle and some areas nearby. The fact that I was assigned to the King section is not only extremely lucky for me, it’s extremely rare!

            This information came from the man who first interviewed me for the company for which I now work. He entered the classroom, spoke with the instructor for a while, and then pulled me into an office to ask me about the breathing difficulty I’d had, the other day. I told him that I don’t think it will be a problem, that I think I’ll be able to wear the ballistics vest for 12 hours without incident and I don’t know why I’d been short of breath. He then told me, first, that he almost never assigns people to the King area; he then informed me that he’d placed me there! Happy news! I grinned from ear to ear, to be repeated upon my arrival home…

            Overall, today was the greenest day I’ve had in a long time. Finding my old friend, learning my posts-to-be, the arrival of my paycheck, the Loot Crate merchandise… I can sleep well tonight, I think, and it’s the weekend! I don’t even have to get up as early as usual!